i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
zippers are such a cool invention
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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