Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
