You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
