forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
