i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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