I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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