Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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