We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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