Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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