and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize