Me too!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
