thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize