I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
