i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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