dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
