just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
