its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
