Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
