His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
