I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
