all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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