Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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