i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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