Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
