I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
