watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
