Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
