We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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