So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
