the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
