And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
