You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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