When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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