ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
