hotel room ftw
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
