Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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