Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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