She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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