i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
