That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
