he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize