Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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