I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize