His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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