I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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