So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Watching her eat just hurts me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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