Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize