Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
