He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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