i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
