my text book just quoted the cookie monster
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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