I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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