Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
