You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Umm I'm too high to move.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
