I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize