wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
