I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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