Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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