You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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