talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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