Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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