We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
