why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize