yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
