there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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