Me too!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
